I could be doing homework
by JustAnotherGoofball
Summary: A young boy, Daniel, who's slightly err....feminine...and his teen babysitter wake up in Castle Rock. How strange...love, chaos, and randomness follows!
1. The Babysitter

Disclaimer: I own both Daniel and his babysitter. I do not own Stand By Me (I wish) – that belongs to Stephen King (why doesn't he share! cries). I'm not making a profit on this blah blah blah…you guys know the drill by now :P

Plot: The plot is fairly unsimple…I know…I like my complications… Babysitter is slightly retarded…she doesn't have a condition or anything but she just does stuff without realizing it…and speaks her mind…which you can see into on the little 'daydream' or 'dream' bits I might put in with certain chapters. Daniel is a girly boy…I've never experienced a girly boy…so be warned…things aren't accurate in my writing land world place… And these two characters end up not in 'Stand By Me' the movie…but that world…so yeah…

Author's Note: Well. For those of you that are reading my other two SBM fics – I have a bit of a writer's block on both. And they're both sort of at cliffhangers which is horrible and poo. I hate myself too, so don't worry. I plan to get them both back up and running soon. So cross your reading little fingers okay dudes? So this fic is just going to be poured out basically because it's on my mind and I figure if I get this done…relatively quickly for me (which I would say is about a year) then I'll be able to get AOH and AASI back up then…Bwhahaha! Only joking. I should get them back up pretty soon. And another thing: I have finally got a fic up on Hooray for me! And the male character is based on David from Lost Boys…sexy and yummy…so go read that too all you Kiefer fans (that means you too Sara! Aka dissolved star aka another Louise – yes, we do rock don't we?)! My name is PixieFool on it and the fic is called 'Dark Prince'

Don't ask about the Babysitter's story…because I really don't have an answer…

#Chapter One: The Babysitter#

"Once upon a time, my hairy Auntie Lee lived on a tall peak. She was always wrapped up in her scarves and shiny hat. She lived with her green cat called Hong; He drank milk from Cal's dairy farm in England. They also lived with Paul the skinny Canary; He only ate his shrewd worms when he was wearing his special flip-flops. They were talking about the cost of things.

'I do believe that we should buy a computer,' stated Paul.

'We have talked about this before, a computer simply costs too much.' My Auntie Lee sighed.

'Well, it is a magnificent creation. It's supposed to cost a lot of money,' argued Paul.

'I think the universe is the most magnificent creation.' Hong yawned as he scratched his bulging lime-green belly.

'But you can't buy the universe,' whined Paul, stamping his left twig-like leg.

'I bet you could buy the universe for a lot less than a computer. I bet I can buy the universe for a shilling.' Hong said sleepily."

"This is a shit story! You're just making it up!" I was yelled at by Daniel, the stubborn seven year old I happened to be babysitting for on that Tuesday night.

"Daniel! Where on earth did you hear that word?" I couldn't believe I was acting so shocked, even though my family had raised me with traditional values and manners, it didn't mean the rest of the world was. And anyhow…you know how kids are these days…little bastards…

Daniel realized that he had done something wrong by swearing, and, in typical seven year old fashion, bounced around me uttering more curses than you'd hear on Jerry Springer. Well, not really because they bleep it out…but you can see there lips moving…so…you know that they….oh look! He's fallen over!

Tears immediately started to fall, he wailed as I suppressed the urge to laugh, don't get me wrong, I'm not a bitch or anything…but…he had it coming. I knelt down beside him and he stuck his head into my armpit and cried even harder, I stroked his chocolate hair and rubbed his back.

He composed himself half an hour later, and looked at me with a fearful expression, "You won't tell anyone? Will you?" He knew and I knew that I babysat some of his friends, and wouldn't they just love to know that their mate Daniel broke down into tears like a little girl. Mwhahaha!

I looked at him reassuringly and playfully nudged him in the arm, "Of course not, you big cry baby," Now I'm almost positive that I had said that in a lighthearted way. But Daniel just burst into tears again and wrapped his arms around my neck. Maybe I'd nudged him too hard?

It wasn't until an hour later when we'd finished watching Barney (aka the purple dinosaur with hilariously short arms), and after Daniel had made me take an oath never to tell anyone that he had cried twice, hugged a girl and watched Barney and joined in with the songs and danced…oops…I think I've said too much! Mwhahaha!

Anyway, he only calmed down when we'd finished watching Barney, I, on the other hand, was scarred for life, I mean, there's just something wrong with being that happy all the time and singing about brushing your teeth.

After I'd stopped the tape and turned off the TV, Daniel looked at me with sly eyes.

"Were you making that story up?"

"Yes," I looked at the clock, "and it's bed time for you."

"It really was shit."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically as I climbed up the stairs behind him.

He looked at me with a dumb-founded expression.

Ah, yes. Only seven, he knows swear words, but he has not yet learned of the power that is sarcasm. In my experience as a babysitter (knocking on four years now), I knew that sarcasm blossomed around the age of nine.

"Never mind," I said, shaking my head.

"Can you make up another story, but a better one?" He asked, looking up at me with big green eyes when we were outside his bedroom door.

I wondered where this was leading to, I wondered what he meant by better. Better to him would probably be Auntie Lee was a gangster rapper and disemboweled Hong and Paul while eating a bacon sandwich…and that, my dears, just wasn't going to happen…it would have to be a grilled ham and cheese sandwich or a chocotastic poptarts or Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream. I would have to go and raid the fridge after I tucked him in.

"What are you getting at, Daniel?"

"Like that one you told me ages ago…with the ponies and the princess and the fairies!"

I looked at him suspiciously…okay…this kid was way too enthusiastic about those kinds of things...I hoped his parents would understand…

#DAYDREAM#

(A teenage Daniel and his parents are sat around the dinner table with another teenage boy…Greg…)

Mom: It's so nice to finally meet one of Daniel's friends. Isn't it honey?

Dad: It sure is. How long have you been friends, Greg?

Greg: Umm….Sir? Myself and Daniel are a bit more than friends…if you know what I mean…

Daniel:worried eyes:

Greg:smiles: We're partners

Dad: Oh…you're going into business together too?

Greg: No…I don't think you understand…we're partners, you big goof!

Dad: In crime?

Mom:gasp: Oh, Daniel, you know that's not the way.

Dad: Son…if you're having problems you can talk to us

Greg: Yeah? Just like that time you sent him to boot camp? Yeah! You were really listening there!

Dad:glares at Greg:

Mom: You told him about that?

Daniel: Yeah. We're partners, silly!

Dad: Now, I don't like you calling your mother names, Son.

Greg:glaring at Dad: bitch…

Daniel: Dad! We're gay! As in a couple!

Mom:faints:

Greg: Oh yeah…all night long baby:pelvic thrusts:

Dad: Why you Son of a –

#END DAYDREAM#

Daniel was giving me a weird look as I smiled at my future prediction.

"Okay…I'll tell you the story…" I grinned wickedly as we walked into the room. I would poison his mind yet! Mwhahaha!

#ONE HOUR LATER#

Wow…that kid was one tough cookie. I shut the door behind me, I'd only just gotten him to go to sleep. I crept down the stairs and into the Lounge looking for my bag, I found it under the coffee table.

I got out one of my DVDs, 'Stand By Me', my favorite. I usually brought DVDs to watch after I'd gotten the kids to fall asleep, until the parents got home. I know I could have done something more productive like homework, but you know…STAND BY ME!

I was almost half way through the movie when Daniel came down in his 'Barbie' pajamas. He didn't say anything, just clambered up on the sofa next to me and snuggled in. He was a pain in the ass sometimes but he just looked so cute at that moment. I just wanted to squeeze him!

"OW!" Daniel yelped when I squeezed him…I didn't mean to. Insert sly grin here.

"Sorry." I kissed him on the head and ruffled his hair.

We both eventually fell asleep.

#Author's Note: I just realized – the babysitter doesn't have a name…how strange strokes chin Reviews are greatly appreciated. Flame if you must. Feedback is feedback. I won't complain.

I'm eating yogurt! Why is that cool? I don't know…but it is!


	2. Thunderstorm

Disclaimer: I own both Daniel and his babysitter. I do not own Stand By Me (I wish) – that belongs to Stephen King (why doesn't he share! cries). I'm not making a profit on this blah blah blah…you guys know the drill by now :P

Author's Notes: Hurrah! I've done so many updates I could poo myself! But that'd be quite messy…so I won't.

My life is going swell my dears. I'm so unbelievably happy once again. Men included…I just can't resist the shexy beasts! I'm addicted! I've also become addicted to MSN Messenger…they call me…the MSN Slut (haha, genius I know).

#Chapter Two - Thunderstorm#

I woke up with a pain in my left cheek, the cheek on my face…not on my bum. Dirty filthy perverts! My eyes opened slowly as I adjusted to the dimly lit room, the TV had been knocked off or something – there was just that fuzzy screen stuff. I could hear the pitter patter of heavy rain against the windows, and I felt sharp pain in my cheek again. I opened my eyes wide to see Daniel sitting on my lap – he had just slapped me the little bugger!

"Daniel! What are you -" I got interrupted by another slap to the face.

"I was trying to wake you up," he looked at me with innocent eyes.

"I was awake the last time," I replied through gritted teeth, those puppy eyes weren't going to work this time. Oh no.

His lips grinned to form an evil smile, "I know." The little bugger, I should have locked him in the wardrobe or something, and pray that he would fall into Narnia, but then his parents wouldn't pay me if I sent Daniel into another dimension, so I better keep the little turd in this world. Poop.

I rubbed my cheek where he had slapped me, "Why were you trying to wake me up?"

I glanced at the TV, we must have fell asleep watching 'Stand By Me', but wouldn't it have gone to the DVD Root Menu? Unless Daniel had flicked it off or something. There was something strange going on, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Thunderstorm." He said sticking his bottom lip out, that in addition to the puppy eyes made me crack, and I instantly forgave him for slapping me. Damn children and their manipulative ways.

I looked at the clock, it was nearing two o'clock, his parents should have been back by now. My mind grew worried, something was wrong, I could feel it in my gut, I had excellent intuition, and right now it was buzzing.

I stood up, holding Daniel in my arms, and looked around the room, it looked different somehow. A crack of thunder was heard at the exact same time as a flash of lightening appeared at the window, the storm was close and it frightened me as well as Daniel. I felt his small hands grip onto me and he buried his head into the crook of my neck, I held him tightly and looked around the room again. The TV.

Something was wrong with the TV, I walked towards it around the coffee table, managed to stub my toe on one of Daniel's beloved Barbie Dolls. I cursed suddenly and loudly, picked up the doll and threw it to the other side of the room, I heard it hit the wall. But then I heard something else, something that I shouldn't have heard.

A movement upstairs.

Someone was in the house with me and Daniel.

They must have crept in while me and Daniel were asleep, and now they knew we were awake, they'd heard me curse. Rapid footsteps were above me and Daniel and I froze with panic, I felt Daniels grip on me tighten and could feel on my chest his heart beat.

There was only one of them, and they were running now, in the landing, me and Daniel would never get to the door in time. The back door, through the kitchen, I could at least grab a knife as defence. What if we were locked in though? What if the burgular had taken away all the things I could use as a weapon as a precaution? We'd be trapped.

Running down the stairs and I was slowly moving backwards, the burgular was at the bottom of the stairs, something metal in his hand glinted in the light, I saw his eyes looked at me through the eye-holes in his ski-mask.

I stepped back further still and felt my thighs touch the TV screen, I couldn't have prevented what happened next. The burglar marched towards us as the TV was pushed back off it's stand, I was then leaning on air and fell backwards onto the TV, still holding Daniel in my arms.

I felt pain spread through my back, and the warmth of my blood, Daniel had cried out and I could feel his fingers digging into my flesh. I looked up at the ceiling, the burglar came into view, looking down on me.

I only meant to blink, but my eyes wouldn't open again. I was in darkness and I couldn't feel anything, not even my body or the pain in my back.

Then I heard birds chirping merrily, I smelt flowers in a meadow and I felt grass beneath me. I opened my eyes and didn't know where I was, it looked oddly familiar, but I knew I hadn't been there before.

#Author's Notes: Okay, kind of short I'll admit (for me anyway), but I just wanted to update so badly, so hopefully there will be a longer chapter next time. I know it wasn't as 'humor' based as the last chapter, but I couldn't really joke about the situation. More humor next time I promise. Thank you for all your reviews. I know this is a bit different, I don't really know what's going to happened next (well…sort of) but hopefully it'll be good.

Please please please review? Love you all!


	3. I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore

Disclaimer: I own both Daniel and his babysitter. I do not own Stand By Me (I wish) – that belongs to Stephen King (why doesn't he share! cries). I'm not making a profit on this blah blah blah…you guys know the drill by now :P

Author's Notes: Very sorry for the long wait. I'm a bad person…or writer…I forget which…

And I just realized I sound like a pimp in my disclaimer….I own them…just reading it now makes me want to bitch slap someone!

#Chapter Three – I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore, Toto#

I was laying on grass. I looked up and saw a blue sky, not a cloud insight. My breathing became ridged. I should see the ceiling. Not a sky. I tried to remember what happened.

My mind drew a blank. All I could remember was I had been babysitting. Who was I babysitting? …Daniel! The boy who played with Barbies and liked pink things! But where was I now? More importantly where was Daniel?

I sat up with a start and looked around, just tall grass and a random tree. I began to panic.

"DANIEL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I stood up.

My legs felt like jelly, and I instantly fell over. I muttered curses and tried to stand up again. My legs felt somewhat awake and I slowly turned in a circle to get a whole view of where I was. All I found from this was that I was on a big hill. I began to move forward, I'd only moved about ten or so yards when a small town came into view at the bottom of the hill. The town looked small and rustic. And American.

So that was it. I was in little British village near…where was it near? I couldn't even remember…Y….York! A little British village near York and now I was in a small rustic town in America… What the hell had happened?

I rubbed my temples as I felt on oncoming headache. Daniel had to be in the town. I had to find him. I had to make sure he was okay. His parents wouldn't pay me if I didn't have him now would they?

I moved forward, down the gentle slope of the hill which eased into a field full of mooing cows. My God. What if one of them had eaten Daniel? I then began to laugh at my own stupidity and carried on walking. My legs felt stronger as I walked through the cows, all of the chewing grass and staring at me. Suddenly I slipped and fell on my back into a patch of something warm…and moist.

"Oh God no. Please no. No no no no no." I whimpered as I breathed in through my nose.

The stench of recycled grass hit me so hard I bolted up and looked at where I had fallen. Where I had just been laying was the hugest piece of spread out cow crap that you'd ever seen. Of course it probably would have been bigger if the rest of it wasn't stuck to my back and down to my right thigh.

My frustration exploded as I shouted, "SHIT!" for as long as I possibly could. And loud enough for an elderly couple that were walking passed the field to look at me frighteningly and quickly scurry away.

I attempted to calm myself down, "Just find Daniel and get the hell out of here."

I momentarily stopped and looked at the back of my white strappy tee and loose over-sized jeans to see how bad it was… It was bad. Very bad.

I resumed walking again. Slower this time though because I was constantly watching the ground, and stepping aside every time I spotted a piece of poo. I finally came to the wooden fence and skilfully jumped over it. So skilfully…I impressed myself.

I began to jog lightly into the town hopping to find Daniel or someone who had seen him. As soon as I got onto some of the streets I received glances from some of the townspeople. I assumed it was because of the poop that was smothered on my back, but they were looking at my face. I guessed this place never had many out-of-towners.

I decided with some of the looks I was receiving that I should just look for Daniel and not ask any questions.

I was relieved when I heard his shrill voice cry out, "I WANT MY BABYSITTER!"

I ran to where his voice had come from to find a crowd of at least twenty or so people. I remembered suddenly of a shopping trip his mother had asked me to do for her, she'd also requested that I take Daniel with me. He'd managed to have four tantrums on the trip all of which routed from me not letting him have some sweets.

How the hell was I going to deal with this? I didn't even know where we were. The crowd were asking him stuff about me, like where I was and all that jazz. In return he just cried harder because he didn't know. Some of the people were actually commenting on my babysitter skills 'leaving him alone', 'we should report her to the police' and I even heard someone say something about new fresh womanly meat.

I went over a plan in my head: Grab him and run. Now, to put it into action.

I moved into the crowd, people instantly moving because of the smell I carried. I was somewhat thankful for the poo, it saved me from having to be polite and shove my way through.

I got to the front and saw him, his eyes all red and puffy from crying, his thick brown hair dishevelled and his pink 'Barbie' pjs were slightly muddy. He saw me and asked about the stink. I just oinked at him and scooped him up. He instantly began to wipe his eyes.

The people around us went quiet and started talking amongst themselves in hushed tones. I moved forward and decided to go through the crowd at the opposite side to which I had came. The people that I had walked past already had their hands over their noses and mouths…I didn't want to make them gag…not yet anyway.

I went to walk past someone, not looking at anyone in the face, worried about what disgusted face they might be pulling, but they moved in front of me, I tried going past them at the other side but they moved again to block me. I growled in frustration and in response came a deep light-hearted chuckle.

"Where's the fire?" It was the owner of the voice I had heard earlier.

"Let me guess…" I began to reply, "You're the guy who was curious about my fresh womanly meat?" I looked up at him with a smug look on my face, as soon as I realized who it was the smugness left my face and I began to scream.

* * *

Author's Notes: Don't worry, it's screaming in a shrill teeny-bopper way… More to come soon. Reviews are appreciated. Love you guys (does the dance of love) 


	4. Attack Of The Obsessed Fan Girl

Author's Notes: Sorry for the long wait. I'm evil. I poke myself. Ow. And by the way, I think I inhaled something halfway through this chapter because it went a bit off-beam…but who cares? Off-beam is fun!

Chapter Four: Attack Of The Obsessed Fan Girl

"Oh My God! Oh My God!" And inside I was saying: ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. My eyes wide. I couldn't believe who I was looking at. "I-It's you! I mean. You're y-you! Oh my God. You're real! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod"

He looked back at me with a quizzical look, and I detected fear, like he was going to make a run for it at any second. Daniel, who was also giving me strange looks started to poke my face. I tore my eyes away from the sexiness before me and looked at Daniel.

"Why are you doing that?" I asked un-amusedly.

"I want to go home." He sniffled, still poking me in the face.

I grabbed his hand and moved it away from my face, I walked a few feet away from Sir Hotness and noticed the crowd was beginning to disperse. I put Daniel back on the ground and kneeled to whisper to him. "Daniel, I know where we are…" I looked at his confused expression, "Castle Rock!"

"Where?" I'd confused him even more.

"It's a town."

"But how did we get here?" He sniffled again.

"I don't know, Daniel, besides, I'm getting off of track. That blonde guy over there, the one who's oozing pure gorgeousness, that's Ace Merrill."

"Who?"

"I love him, Daniel. Ever since I saw 'Stand By Me' five years ago, I've been madly and uncontrollably in love with him."

Something clicked within him. "…We're in a movie?"

"Yeah, at least I think so. But don't you see. Mr. Stud Muffin is right over there. If you were older you'd understand why I have to do what I'm about to do."

"You're not making any sense. Are you even listening to me?"

"My whole life has been leading up to this moment! I have to do this. Opportunities like this never happen!" And with that I turned, ran, and leaped on Mr. Stud Muffin.

--moments later--

There were sexy limbs every where, well, on a small pile on the ground. I'd managed to straddle him and even though he appeared to be a strong guy, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can shake off an obsessed fan.

"Not that I'm opposed to pretty young things like yourself mauling me, who are you?" His voice sent shivers down my spine.

"Your biggest fan." I smiled sweetly.

His eyes widened. "Oh God, you're not that girl from Harlow are you?"

I shook my head, "Nah. I'm just someone who's been admiring you for quite sometime."

He raised an eyebrow, "You're stalking me?"

I leaned in, "Do you want me to?"

He chuckled, "You're not from around here are you?"

I shook my head in response and then remembered I had crap all the way up my back. Not attractive. Luckily, under my white t-shirt I was wearing a sport's bra type gizmo. I took off the tee, momentarily forgetting I was in 1950's America, in the middle of the street, straddling a Sex God. I threw the t-shirt aside, accidentally it collided with an old woman and all hell broke loose.

"Whoa," I turned back to face the Sexual Fiend that was beneath me. "You really aren't from around here." He looked me up and down, and then towards the old woman that was heading this way, he smirked in a sexy way that made me want to snog (A/N: To American readers, this is a common British word for kissing. Aka: To snog someone. To snog someone's face off. Etc etc… Yes. It's as vulgar as it sounds.) him and say 'Oh my God you're so sexy when you smirk'. "I like it," he said, looking dead at me.

I almost did a little celebration dance, but the old woman was getting closer and shouting things like 'prostitute' and 'whore' at me. This in effect, was making the crowd that had dispersed, err… un-disperse… Not good.

Daniel reappeared at my side and tugged at my arm, "I want to go home."

"Daniel, I already told you," I lowered my voice. "I don't know how to get home."

He glared at me evilly and looked at Ace, a strange smile formed itself on his usually cherubic face, "She has poo on her!" And with that he ran away.

The color flew from my face, "DANIEL! YOU LITTLE $'£& I'm going to &/#!ING £&$" YOU! GET BACK HERE YOU &£!$&£#!"

"Err, why did you just shout out a lot of symbols?"

o.0

I stood up to run after him but looked back down at Ace, and the to the hobbling old woman, and then back at Ace, and then at Daniel who was running away, and then at the old woman, and back to Daniel, and the old woman, then Ace, still Ace, then the old woman, then Ace, then Daniel, then two dogs that where humping. And then I laughed. And then I forgot what I was doing.

Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me, I turned to see Stud MacSexy, "Wha-?"

"I think we should go before that old woman gets back up."

I looked to see the woman had tripped over the humping dogs, and my laughter came out so fast that I couldn't breathe properly, and tears were coming out of my eyes. Hahahahaha.

We'd stopped moving and I saw that we were stood next to Ace's car, but he was eyeing the crap on my leg questioningly, "He wasn't lying was he?" He started to chuckle slightly.

"It's not funny! Now come on, I need to find him and kill him," I made a move towards his car door.

He blocked my way. "You honestly think I'm going to let you get into my ride like that?"

I growled as I unbuttoned my jeans. I mean come on; old woman or being semi naked in Ace Merrill's car? Come on people!

I slid them down to my knees and kicked them off, he eyed me up and down as he opened the car door for me, "Are there more like you?"

I smiled as I sat down and he closed the door, "Hell no."

---

Author's Notes: REVIEW OR DIE!


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